Prarie Fuzz

Greetings, once in awhile, I'll be sharing some of the events that go on in my day to day duties. This way everyone gets to hear it and TH gets his daily hard on. For starters today, finally had a call of some real action. Apparently there was a non white male beating on another none white male just on the side of the highway. We were called as the neighboring detachment asked us to aid as they were "busy". I have choice words for them at times but they're not all bad, I swear...really...most of the time. Anyway, so we get there and the guy that started the shit fest was this 6 foot muscle toned guy, he had a broken nose, the guy that put him in his place was maybe 5'9 at best, not a scratch on him. Of course the fight was done by the time we arrived and "no one saw anything" I asked the man if his nose was subject to random nasal explosions, he just looked at me with no response. Was mostly an uncooperative douche bag but that's how it is most of the time, least I didn't have to introduce him to my friend, Mr Asphalt. Eventually we just sent them on their way. No paper work for me is always a good time. Cold enough that I think my testicle is still back there, but that is for another time.

Gamikoe

LOL man your fucking hilarious, I'm going to love this if you keep this up.

TH

An example of how it can go from some asshole on the highway to something very trivial in the day to day things of working the prairies. Today, I had a single call. A boy was bit by a dog. Not just any dog, a snarling beast of the nine gates of hell.

That's right, this little thing bit someone in the hind leg and were quite upset that it had bit them. When I asked why it may have bit them, I was advised that they were "throwing sticks" at it. I was inches from losing my shit on this complete reject for again, calling us because of a problem they started. Needless to say, I assured the complainant to stay away from the beast and that all would be well.

Remember, if you're scared, go to church

Gamikoe

Gamikoe wrote:

Remember, if you're scared, go to church

I think I just became your number one fan LOL

TH

churches got free booze? the holy wine and shit?

Dorek wrote:churches got free booze? the holy wine and shit?

Yeah they let little kids gulp it down at christenings.

TH

So the other day, we have a person in out town who is currently feuding with them over land property titles. Now these kooks lost their trial but they're still fighting it. Long story short is that this douche bag can't be in the town office without police supervision. So I go to waste my time, fine w/e ever he got his document. Calls and wants an escort the next day....what the fuck, since when are we their to hold your hand when you can't get your shit together? Told him to send a letter with a bloody list. Next we're out and about in a blizzard doing traffic stops for cellphones? Why? Badass Mounties that's why. Over the radio people heard what we were doing so other detachments decided to go out and do the same. All around was a good haul for the province. (Ticket profits go to the province, not us, ever, if they did I would be a millionaire at this point, shit you not)

If you're scared, go to Church

Gamikoe

Been a few days, nothing exciting on my shift but I came in for a workout and found one of our guards there on a Sunday morning. This is nothing strange since we usually get drunks on a saturday night. While I was in and having a chat with him, I realized it wasn't a drunk driver, just a drunk who finally went off the deep end, pushing his wife, brandishing a knife and took two of our officers to bring him down. I had learned that he had made threats to my guys....not the brightest cookie. I made sure now that this piece of shit is currently not enjoying freedom but is currently pending on seeing a judge and is remanded. No I did not beat him, though he deserved, nor did I treat him with any disrespect, all I did was my job to it's full extent. Last I heard he was still crying in cells.

If you're scared, go to Churuch

Gamikoe

Gamikoe wrote:Been a few days, nothing exciting on my shift but I came in for a workout and found one of our guards there on a Sunday morning. This is nothing strange since we usually get drunks on a saturday night. While I was in and having a chat with him, I realized it wasn't a drunk driver, just a drunk who finally went off the deep end, pushing his wife, brandishing a knife and took two of our officers to bring him down. I had learned that he had made threats to my guys....not the brightest cookie. I made sure now that this piece of shit is currently not enjoying freedom but is currently pending on seeing a judge and is remanded. No I did not beat him, though he deserved, nor did I treat him with any disrespect, all I did was my job to it's full extent. Last I heard he was still crying in cells.

If you're scared, go to Churuch

Gamikoe

You should go shout through the bars at him while he's crying.

TH

Haven't updated in awhile so I'll give a little bit on what's happened recently. Tragedy happened last week when a man went through the ice on a lake in my area. Now as sad.as that is, it could have been easily prevented. We have not had enough cold here to allow travel as in certain areas, the ice is only an inch thick. 6 inches is where it should be for optimal safety. On top of that, trying to find the place was a complete bitch as we were driving down goat trails and through farmers fields to find it. Had to even escort the news crews as they had no bloody clue where to go and we did not want a search and rescue on top of things for a bimbo reporter. Anyways, our dive team was successful in retrieval without incident. This will be my last update till after christmas.

Merry Christmas

Gamikoe

P.S. If me saying merry Christmas offends you, go jump in a lake

These are awesome to read when I am working at my work. Otherwise I'd die of boredom here...

Keep 'em coming and Merry Christmas!

Well well well, guess who's back with more news from a jaded point of view. So remember in the above post about the poor man that went through the ice? Well apparently having heard that on the news is not enough to deter the Darwin award for the next guy. Somebody again attempted to cross the lake....again....in a freaking 4x4 truck WITH an ice shack attached. Now mind you, it has been a slight bit cooler here, however, a word of advice. Should you be traveling across said half frozen lake, the giant rift in the ice ahead of you? That's not a fucking ramp to jump you inbred redneck, that is where a freaking crack in the ice is. The good news is, the man did get out in time. The bad news....the man got out in time . He lost a truck and there is no tow truck around that I know that carried a Km of tow line. Learn your lesson, stay off the freaking lake